Remarks given at Religious Freedom Rally
Remarks given by Mary Batchelor at the Religious Freedom Rally on the Utah Capitol steps
June 16, 2001
My name is Mary Batchelor. I consider myself an involuntary monogamist. I am currently married to a man I love and admire, and we hope to enter into plural marriage again in the future.
I am one of the co-authors of Voices in Harmony, Contemporary Women Celebrate Plural Marriage. Yes, I said “celebrate.” One hundred women responded to our request to join their voices to ours in writing this book, to let the world know that we love our husbands, we love our sister-wives, we love our children, and we love our polygnyous family arrangement.
Why? It is a deeply sacred part of our religion, so thoroughly permeating the foundation of our beliefs that without polygyny, the promises of our religion fall short. We believe that women can find independence, fulfillment, and even empowerment within polygyny.
I am here today because our families are being threatened. Our religious beliefs and choice of lifestyle have been ridiculed, villified, condemned and proclaimed criminal in a public campaign that has already led to a socially acceptable and openly hostile form of McCarthyism. Declarations that polygmy must be eradicated are akin to ethnic cleansing and are a direct violation of the civil rights of consenting adults to arrange their families as they see fit.
It is ironic that this is occurring in a state and country founded upon religious freedom.
Yet, in America, polygamists are not afforded the rights and protections of the First Amendment to the Constitution.
For us, and many other minorities, religious freedom has never been fully realized in America.
In order for all Americans to truly enjoy the freedom to practice our religion according to the dictates of our conscience, we must grant that same freedom to others, whether or not we agree with them or approve of their beliefs or actions. It doesn’t matter if we belong to a majority religion, a minority religion, or no religion at all, we must find a way to appreciate diversity of thought and opinion. Toleration means nothing if we only tolerate those people with whom we agree.
We applaud the state of Utah for welcoming the Dalai Lama, and ask, can we not offer that same kind of welcome and respect to those who live in our own backyards?
It should no longer be acceptable to violate the rights of polygamous people. It is time to revise oppressive laws, and remove archaic statutes from the books. It is not the place of government to dictate which religion is acceptable or not, neither is it the place of government to dictate to adults how they can arrange their families.
We want laws to protect our families, not oppress them. We want laws to protect our children, not deprive them. Polygamous families should not be forced to live in fear; unsure of how much they can reveal about themselves publicly, to their neighbors, teachers or doctors, for fear they might be turned in to law enforcement and charged with bigamy or unlawful cohabitation, for nothing more than living polygamously. Polygamous families should not be made to live in silence, suffering public ridicule and slander from those who want to impose their values upon the rest of society. Polygamous families should not be compelled to withdraw from society to protect themselves or their children from persecution, animosity and hatred. They should have equal access to public assistance in times of need, to adequate medical care for their children, to employment, housing and even recreation, like any other family.
We are not asking for special treatment. On the contrary, we are asking for equal treatment.
The majority of polygamists do not commit incest, welfare fraud or other offenses. The majority of polygamists are law-abiding, industrious people who are not criminals, but loving spouses and parents. We are entitled to be treated as such.
In closing, I offer the words of Distinguished Professor of Psychology, Irwin Altman, of the University of Utah, and Professor of Social and Cultural Anthropology, Joseph Ginat, of the University of Haifa, in Israel, from their book, Polygamous Families in Contemporary Society, p. 444:
“In spite of the problems they face, some of these new forms of close relationships — including plural families among contemporary Mormon fundamentalists — are here to stay in American and Western society. They are not likely to ‘go away’; they are not fads or fancies; they are not aberrations. They will be part of the family life scene well into the future.
“We must therefore learn about them, learn from them, and even help people live the lifestyle of their choice. Doing so increases the probability that participants in emerging forms of close relationships will contribute to the well-being and equality of life in American society at large. Not doing so, and viewing these family lifestyles as inherently immoral, wrong, and unacceptable, increases the probability that American society will fragment, with a declining sense of community and civility in our public and private lives.”
